Struggling With Insecurity

Insecurity.

We girls can sure struggle with this, can’t we?

I was fine from about K-4th, then I went through an awkward stage, how about you?

It was fifth grade, weighed more than I care to say, and was first in my circle of friends to get my period. Oh my word.

Sitting in class wearing what felt like a diaper, secured by a belt around my waste; my first taste of insecurity.

No fifth grade girl should have to endure such awkwardness.

Who knew tampons had been around since antiquity? Still,  I think mom was afraid I might damage something internally.

Fast forward a few years, and the awkward stage passes, praise God (although my mom still has pictures, Lord help us).

I moved to Florida.

New school, new friends, new challenges, new insecurities.

I stopped eating lunch in ninth grade.

True, I wanted to be thin like the photo-shopped magazine girls, but I didn’t have an eating disorder.

It was because I dreaded going up to the lunch line.

I feared dropping my tray, being stared at, having my clothing scrutinized.

That bully Insecurity stole my lunch.

Perhaps you have similar childhood memories, or maybe your insecurity stems from harder issues, like abuse or neglect. Maybe it caused a real eating disorder, or some other hurtful byproduct.

Our only hope? Trust God, and ask Him to free us of our insecurity, because insecurity is all about self, and it redirects focus away from God.

We’re not allowing that bully insecurity to steal our joy and purpose, right girls?

And this: We’ve got to stop comparing ourselves to that other girl. You know that girl who seems to have it all together?

Don’t judge a book…

We never know what others are struggling with, and I imagine even the got-it-all together girls struggle with insecurity too.

Let’s not just sit here and take it:

When we come down on ourselves, go to that woe is me place of insecurity, let’s stop and allow the dots to connect.

We can say:

I’m feeling insecure about ___________________ because ____________________________, but God’s Word tells me in Christ I am a new creation; I am fearfully and wonderfully made; I am a child of God; and my security is in Him, who provides all my needs; and I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength.

Now say this:

When I allow my insecurity to overwhelm me,  I miss becoming the woman God is calling me to be. Through Christ I can overcome my insecurity, and live out my purpose as the woman He created me to be.

Such confidence we have through Christ toward God.  Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God,  2 Corinthians 3:4-5

We are confident through Christ, and our adequacy is from God.

Insecurity doesn’t come from God.

Let’s throw insecurity out with the trash where it belongs.

Have you struggled with insecurity?

When the World Would Have Us Shaking in Our Boots

Have you heard the news?

The world would have us shaking in our boots, and I’m not big on cliches, but this one truly fits.

I know you don’t need details, because you’ve heard it all too. There’s no sugar-coating evil.

There are times when it hits us head-on. As a bank employee for almost thirty years, I’ve been through two bank robberies.

In the first robbery, I was the teller who emptied the drawer and apologized to the robber when I didn’t have the large bills his note requested.

During the second one, I sat in the lobby at a desk behind glass, watching the event unfold, surreal, as men with guns stormed the innocent.

We’ve been through trauma, we’ve seen evil first-hand. But evil isn’t new. It’s been around a good long while.

In John 7:7 Jesus said this to His brothers:

The world cannot hate you, but it hates Me because I testify of it that its works are evil.

The world we live in hates the truth. When we walk in truth, share the truth, stand up for the truth, we’re going to face some haters too.

But we need not fear and we need not cower, because after Jesus said that, Jesus said this:

These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.  John 16:33

And we can say this:

So we may boldly say:

“The Lord is my helper;
I will not fear.
What can man do to me?”  Hebrews 13:6

And this:

The Lord is on my side;
I will not fear.
What can man do to me? Psalm 118:6

So let’s put on our boots, because we need not shake in them. We can walk confidently as children of God, and boldly say the Lord is my helper, I will not fear.

And instead of shaking in our boots when the world goes crazy, let’s kick up our heels and dance with Jesus, because He has overcome the world.

Don’t worry if you don’t know the steps, He’ll take the lead, because He is The Way.

Are We Dwelling on Past Mistakes?

What have we learned from past mistakes?

Hopefully we’ve learned not to repeat them, but before we can learn from them, we need to admit we’ve made them. Once we do that, without placing blame on everyone and everything else, we can confess it out, be forgiven by God and forgive ourselves.

Yet there are times we dwell. We ponder. We rewind and rerun tapes within our minds.

Let’s remember, good  memories can bring joy and recalling them is pleasing to the soul.

But the memories of past mistakes can bring sadness, heartache, and anxiety. We may have made unhealthy, and unwise choices then, but we can make healthy and wise choices now.

Let’s turn our heads from looking back, and keep looking ahead. Let’s be good stewards of the time God has given us.

Because dwelling on past mistakes is a mistake.

It will free us when we stop unhealthy thoughts that begin with:

“If only I would have…”

“I wish I hadn’t….”

“If I had only….”

And replace them with healthy thoughts that begin with:

“From now on, I will…”

“In Christ I am a new creation, the old is gone and the new has come…”

“I will not spend my current time on negative things of the past. Just as I can’t purchase something new with money already spent, I cannot buy back the past with time from the present…”

When we let go of past mistakes, we can look forward to new beginnings.

It won’t always be easy, but God is always there and He is outside of time.

I’ve made mistakes, we all have, and I suspect we may make a few more, but here’s the good news:

When we are in Christ, we are new; the old is gone, the new has come. It doesn’t mean we lose all memory of who we were before, but it does mean we are no longer bound by our past. We are free of it.

We may still be dealing with the consequences of it, but that’s part of the lesson, isn’t it?

But even though God may allow us to experience consequences, it’s not because He doesn’t love us, it’s because He does.

And even if we’ve teetered off the right path, it doesn’t mean we’ve missed the plans He has for us.

Although we may have missed out on a few blessings along the way, it doesn’t mean we can’t experience new blessings .

We may have taken a detour, but when we draw near and seek God, He reprograms our spiritual GPS back onto that right path.

It’s a new day, so let’s walk in this truth:

Do not call to mind the former things,
Or ponder things of the past.
 “Behold, I will do something new,
Now it will spring forth;
Will you not be aware of it?
I will even make a roadway in the wilderness,
Rivers in the desert.  Isaiah 43:18-19

God paves a roadway through our wilderness, and makes rivers in our desert, so we can experience freedom in the present and a future filled with hope.

Are we ready for the freedom of new beginnings?

We’ve All Been that Woman

I love bicycles with baskets, and freshly cut flowers,

scented candles, and freshly baked breads.

How about you?

But beautiful things aren’t always what they seem, are they?

Candles burn away, and bicycles get rusty.

Bread gets moldy, and cut flowers dry up and wither away.

They have no life; they have no roots.

So how important are roots? We refer to where we came from, our heritage, as our roots.

Let’s not forget that children are a heritage from the Lord, and we are His children.

When our roots go deep in Jesus, we will not wither away; we will not be a dried up memory pressed in a book,

we will be written in one…

The Lambs Book of Life.

Because before were well-women, we were that woman at the well.

So as a tree planted by the water, lets extend our roots to the living water of the gospel. There, we will not fear when life heats up, and we will not be anxious when seasons of drought come; because this well will never dry up.

When we extend our roots to the living water, our soul will be refreshed and our life will yield fruit. 

“For he will be like a tree planted by the water,
That extends its roots by a stream
And will not fear when the heat comes;
But its leaves will be green,
And it will not be anxious in a year of drought
Nor cease to yield fruit.   Jeremiah 17:8 NASB

Jesus came to quench our thirst, so we can dip our cups and thirst no more.

We have all been that woman at the well.

Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.”

When did Jesus meet you at the well?

What If Everyone Found Out?

Shame.

We’ve all felt it at one time or another, haven’t we?

We’ve all done things we certainly wouldn’t expect to see announced in the church bulletin.

Could you just imagine?

“Pot-luck dinner Sunday at six, and speaking of pot, Sylvia used to smoke it, and sources say she still does.”

Or how about this one:

“Prayer walk on 42nd street, same block Samantha worked a few years ago.”

Or this:

“AA meeting in room 105, Sunday School building-and by the way, Kathy fell off the wagon again.”

Now imagine this: What if everyone found out everything?

I know I’ve done things I’m not particularly proud of, and I’m sure you have too. I’ve even had women say to me, “well, someday I’ll tell you about it.” And I say, “well, why not today?”

Truth is, some people already know about some of it, and God knows about all of it,

so instead of letting shame hold us hostage, let’s look to the One who paid our ransom.

Because after all, what are we so ashamed of?

Of course, it’s sin. Sin makes us shameful. But we have this hope; confess our sins and they’re washed away. Repentance brings freedom. Right?

So if Jesus washes away the sins, why do we keep buying spray and wash for the stain of shame?

Why?

Because the enemy lies, telling us we have to keep treating the stains. We’ve got to stop believing it.

Here’s the truth: The stains are gone, and Jesus shamed shame.

In researching death on the cross, we find it was considered a death of shame. The Reformation Study Bible tells us that Roman citizens were forbidden to be put to death on the cross, and the Jews believed everyone who hung on a tree was cursed by God.

But Jesus shamed the shame by turning that tree of shame into our saving grace. Then He rose from the dead to seal what He was sent to accomplish.

So yeah, we need to be the church of the redeemed, not the church of the shamed. I don’t mean to sound preachy, but while we’re at it, let’s take the plank out of our own eyes. The plank called hypocrisy.

Through Christ we can throw off shame and stop throwing it at others.

I told my Grace Story at a women’s event a few years ago. Teenage pregnancy, shame, feelings of not fitting in anymore, abandoned by most friends. Then I had a beautiful son named Michael. I wasn’t ashamed of my son, but for years I felt the shame of being that girl who disappeared from school.

You know what happened afterwards? Countless women in the audience couldn’t wait to tell me it had happened to them too.

What are you going through today?

Whatever it may be, there are others who have already made it through.

How did they make it through?

They were changed through Christ, and their faith sustained them. That’s the Grace Story.

Maybe you are the one who made it through. Your testimony, can be that common thread of hope to share with others.

We are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses; those who have gone before us to show us the way.

But there is One who goes before us who is The Way. He replaces our shame with faith.

Let’s fix our eyes on Jesus.

What does fix mean anyway? If you google it, you get this:

direct one’s eyes, attention, or mind steadily or unwaveringly toward.

fasten (something) securely in a particular place or position.

So let’s fix and fasten.

1. Fix our eyes on Jesus, and fasten our faith to Him.
2. Activate dormant faith through seeking God ~ the Holy Spirit brings fresh eyes to see the needs of others
3. Initiate a training program to run the race – the prayers, the Word, the work
4. Train others~ because faith comes through hearing the Word, our training manual
5. Hand off the baton ~ multiplying workers for the harvest. We’re not meant to go it alone

And this…

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.     Hebrews 12:1-2

It’s time to put off the shame, and put on faith with works.

Where are you called to serve?

Can I Tell You About My Bizarre Encounter?

I had a bizarre encounter on Saturday. Can I share it with you?

I enjoyed a pleasant morning with a friend, then set out to pick up a few groceries.  I entered the parking lot of the nearest grocery store, and pulled into an available spot. All quite normal up to this point, right?

Stay with me…

Before exiting the car, I took a moment to open the banking app on my cell. Just a quick check to see if I needed to transfer funds. To my dismay, the internet connection spun so many times, it made me dizzy. I decided to wait for a moment, then try it again.

Meanwhile, I noticed a blue truck pulling into the space directly facing me. A middle-aged women exited the driver’s side, but oddly, she left the door standing wide open. Next thing I knew, she was heading towards my car.

She made a beeline for my driver’s side window, so I hit the button, allowing the glass between us to slide down.

Thinking she either had the wrong person, or perhaps she wanted to ask me a question, I waited.

But she didn’t say anything.

Instead, she held up a small silver camera, and appeared to be video taping me. Yes, you read that correctly.

Not being accustomed to seeing paparazzi in the grocery store parking lot, and unaware of my seemingly celebrity status, I was completely baffled. Shocked even.

I tried conversing, but she wasn’t interested. She may have mumbled something, but honestly,  I cannot recall.

Then as mysteriously as she had arrived, she turned to leave.

Don’t try this at home, but I felt compelled to get out of the car.  I needed to know why.

Why?

I actually tried flagging her down, hoping we could talk. Yes, for whatever reason, I didn’t want the encounter to end this way.

But my efforts were to no avail. I stood there as she pulled away, still videotaping me as I waved goodbye. OK, now I was the one with the bizarre behavior.

After she left,  I remembered something:

Before pulling into the grocery store, I had made a right turn at the red light.  This is perfectly legal, however, there was a vehicle already in the intersection attempting a u-turn. That vehicle had the right-of-way, and guess you could say, I was in the wrong-of-way.

Could that be it? Could this women be the person who made that u-turn? I couldn’t be certain, but it seemed to fit.

After she left, I was a bit shaken. I decided to leave the area and head to the grocery store closer to home. The entire way there, I prayed about the bizarre encounter with this woman.

I surrendered the disturbing feelings to God,  feelings of being violated, bullied, and harassed.

Not only that, I prayed for her too.

God allows things to happen for a purpose, and  we may never know why.

Maybe before this encounter, nobody else was praying for her.

Maybe that’s why.

What did I learn?

• As strange as it was, it wasn’t personal. She didn’t know me, and I didn’t know her. She directed her anger at me, but she was really angry with my action. She had an unacceptable reaction to my action.
• No amount of prayer is too much. We need to bathe ourselves in prayer, and pray for others too. We never know what our day will bring, but God does. Let’s pray for His direction in our every step. In praying that way most mornings, I have to believe driving into that parking lot was no accident.
• There will always be people in this world who will choose evil over good, road rage over grace. As the Word says, let’s not repay evil with evil, but give a blessing instead. I could have retaliated, but what good would it do? What good does it do, when we become like them, and unlike Christ?
• There may have been times, we have been like them. Sometimes we’ve lost it, so forgiveness is applicable in all situations. She’s my neighbor. I don’t have to condone her actions, but I’m still called to love and forgive her.
• The Lord fights our battles. It’s a battlefield out there, but we can armor up. The enemy may try to attack, but we can trust our God has our back.

I pray someone will have the opportunity to speak to this woman, and that a seed can be planted, then watered.

Will you join me in praying for her?

Wouldn’t it be crazy if her camera wasn’t even rolling?

What similar experiences have you encountered?  Please share them, and any thoughts on this bizarre encounter in the comments.

What Does Fame Mean?

Fame.

The world is obsessed with celebrities and pop stars, from the cream of society to the ills of notoriety.

I’ll admit, I’ve had my share of singing into brushes in front of mirrors. I’m sure you’ve belted out a few notes into a brush too; and not sure about you, but I’ve had sold-out concerts in my room. Not recently of course, as I now share a room with my husband, and I think he’d find it a little weird.

So when was the last time you had that fifteen minutes of fame?

I’ve had a few over the years. Here’s a little sixth-grade flashback:

Practicing my twirling routine on the back patio, I ramped up the show when I noticed two boys from class spying on me from behind our backyard wall. Music blaring, I flipped those metal rods to the sky, spinning twice to catch them in a lunge. Showing off I was, and of course, I enjoyed the attention.

I felt a little famous, even if it was only in my backyard. On that day, the patio was my platform.

 Ah, that word platform, an opportunity to reach people with a message.

Many famous people have made positive changes using their platform; then there are those who’d rather just change their clothes.

If God gave you a platform to speak from, what  would you say?

Before you discount the possibility, check this out:

• God has given you a platform. We all have one. It’s where we stand to take a stand.
• Our platform is wherever we are, and whether it be in the middle of an arena or in the middle of a grocery store, we have an opportunity to use our voice to change the world. And we don’t need a hairbrush. We need the Holy Spirit.
•  We’re not the famous one. Jesus is the Famous One. Pressure is off, it’s all about Him.
• A word of caution: We will trip and fall from our platform if we make it about us. Check pride at the door.

Then His fame went throughout all Syria; and they brought to Him all sick people who were afflicted with various diseases and torments, and those who were demon-possessed, epileptics, and paralytics; and He healed them.    Matthew 4:24

We have been given a platform. but we were never meant to go it alone. Go out two by two and visit the sick, or bring a spa basket to a tired mom. Share your gifts and spread His fame. Be Jesus to neighbors, and connect women with women who know where they’re coming from, and know where they’ve been, because they’ve been there too.

There will always be famous people in the world, but…

Fame means nothing without the Famous One. His Name is Jesus.

So step onto your platform today and share the truth in love. Kindness is refreshing, and people could use a dose or two.

Don’t be surprised if God grows your platform to reach the masses. That could be a huge crowd at one time, or one person at a time.

Either way, the most important audience is the audience of One.

Whose Approval Are We Seeking? Part 2 Acceptance

There I stood, miles from my comfort zone, vying for a spot on the varsity cheerleading squad. This was my first attempt at cheering, and I can honestly say, I would have rather been having a root canal.  The once familiar gym floor felt like foreign soil; anxiety kicked in, as my feet kicked up.

Short of breath, it was as if the oxygen had been zapped from the room.  Surely this lack of oxygen contributed to my forgetting most of the routine I was struggling through.  I don’t know why I waited until high school to do this; obviously the other girls had been cheering since the womb.  Still, I was determined to try, even though deep in my heart, I knew.

You can probably guess how this all turned out; for years after I felt like a failure.  I failed to gain acceptance to the group who wore matching uniforms on pep-rally days.  Then it all came to light.  You see, I was never meant to be a cheerleader;  back-flips terrified me, and my perfect cartwheel wouldn’t get me far on the cheering circuit.  I do however, have mad twirling skills, so why didn’t I tryout for majorette?  Looking back, I wish I had; it would have been a much better fit for my gifts, talents, and abilities.

Feeling out of the loop, and not part of the group is disheartening.  Ever been there?  Well this should hearten you:  through faith in Christ, we never have to feel that way again.  We become members of one body; unified.

We are each a unique, one-of-a-kind creation by our Creator. God has given each of us gifts, talents, and abilities all our own, so why try to make up our own version of who we are?

I am most free, when I am who God created me to be. When I try to be someone I’m not, it’s like using the wrong key to unlock a door. What happens? The door stays locked, and I’ve created a barrier between my plans and God’s plans for me.

Just as cheerleaders put on uniforms  of solidarity and unification; believers put on Christ, we put on a brand-new self.  We put on the Armor of God, we are a member of His army.  We are His chosen, putting on many beautiful virtues; above all, love, which is the perfect bond of unity.  

Here’s the truth; we all yearn to be a part of a group, to be accepted, to be a part of something bigger then ourselves.  God deposited that desire in us.  We don’t have to tryout, He says come just as you are. He accepts us, and His approval is all we need; His grace is sufficient.

Were you heartened by that truth?  Did you know the definition of hearten is: “to give heart to: cheer” Guess if you were heartened, I’m a cheerleader after all.

“So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.”  Colossians 3:11-14

Share an experience when you sought to be part of a group. What did you learn from it?

Whose Shoes Are You Wearing?

 Remember when life was simpler?

When having a bad day meant bubble gum in your hair?

I remember those days of digging through mom’s closet, slipping on heels, and putting on plays. Then I blinked, and my daughter was digging through my closet.

Our younger self dreams of growing older. Middle school, high school, driving, dating, college, wedding, kids…

Our older self dreams of when we were younger; before all this crazy stuff like mortgages, bills, health insurance, taxes, aches, pains …

Truth is, some days our older self feels like throwing in the towel, staying in bed with the covers over our head.

Maybe we dream too much of what we hoped would be, or maybe we dream too much of what used to be.

Maybe we dream too much. Let’s open our eyes and see what is.

God has plans for us, He tells us so. Our divinely designed plans, flowing into His great plan, like rivers flowing into the ocean.

If we want to relive our youth, we can buy shoes five sizes too big, and shove a wad of bubble gum into our hair.

But going backwards stops the flow of our plan, and I want my plans flowing forward. How about you?

Ever wish you could walk in someone else’s shoes? Fill someone else’s shoes?

Stop wishing, cause their shoes won’t fit.

Because to God, there is not another like us in all the universe. Uniquely, fearfully, and wonderfully made.

He loves us, not only as a whole body and bride, but as that child He knitted together in the womb.

To God, there is nobody else who can fill our shoes. Not because we’re awesome, but because He is awesome and He created us. Do you believe that?

It’s time to believe it.

So let’s stop trying to walk in someone else’s shoes, and start walking in the plans God created for us.

We can’t walk forward as world-changers for Christ if our shoes keep falling off.

Let’s wear shoes that fit, our shoes.

Right where we are, however young or old, mortgages and all.

Or maybe we can just go barefoot.

For those of you into hashtags:

#wearourownshoes

Finding it hard to wear your own shoes today? Share about it.

But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever,
    the purposes of his heart through all generations. Psalm 33:11

Sweet to the Soul

May encouraging words flow from our lips,
the aftertaste sweet to the soul,
not bitter words, that sour and spoil,
their destruction taking its toll.
So what shall we choose, sour or sweet?
Each day brings a new opportunity,
choosing the sweet will always be wise,
bringing life, peacefulness, and unity.

                                                                                 ~ Doris Swift

May we always choose words sweet to the soul.